Grieving
January is a tough month for me. It is the month that both my parents passed away. Not in the same year–thankfully. This January, it has been 10 years for my dad and 6 years for my mom. As the years go on, I always assume that I won’t grieve them as much anymore or that next January will be much easier; but in reality, it feels like that each January get harder and harder as the time goes on.
This year has been a difficult one and I sometimes feel that I am overwhelmed with grief for both of them. Especially as I ponder a huge business decision, I do wish my dad was a phone call away and he would be able to talk me through it because he was such a brilliant business man. And it would be wonderful to hear my mom pipe in and give her 2 cents about it too. I have felt overwhelmed in my grief for them and I have recognized that when I allow those emotions to flow through my body, through crying or whatever I need to do, my entire body feels lighter and less tense. However, when I don’t have the time nor the space to allow those emotions to flow through me, my body feels so tense and on guard and it hurts and feel every tender and raw. So I am trying to be very diligent in allowing those emotions to flow.
I have also recognized that there is no expiration date on my grieving or any of my emotions, for that matter. That if I continue to honor my feelings regardless of how silly, old, stupid, wrong I think they might be, I am doing my body a huge favor by honoring the feelings and emotions that are present for me in that moment. My body will feel lighter and less rigid.
How about you? What emotions and feelings are you unwilling to allow to flow through your body and causing you physical pain? Remember there is no expiration date on any emotion or feeling or incident. That if you honor your body and the emotions and feelings it produces, then you are on the road to being more aware and emotionally connected with your body.
Are you willing to go there? Are you willing to allow yourself to feel whatever is present for you at any given moment? Anger, fear, sadness, happiness, joy? They all deserve your attention–even the ones that we call ‘negative’; which are really the ones we don’t want to deal with.
Come on, take a chance and begin to feel everything. Believe it or not, your body will thank you for it.
YOUR PARTNER IN AWARENESS AND HEALING,
Kathy