Presence
The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.
~Thich Nhat Hanh~
The week of Thanksgiving was a difficult week for me. I was working through some issues with one of my kids and was feeling very sad, afraid and frustrated about the whole situation. I felt very much alone and didn’t know what to do about anything.
I wanted to reach out to someone~to connect with someone and yet I wondered why and knew that they couldn’t really truly help me. That nothing needed to be or could be fixed. Nevertheless, I eventually called a good friend. I felt embarrassed as I was telling my friend what was going on because I was doing more sobbing than I was talking. I kept telling myself that she probably had a million and one things to do for the holiday and the last thing she needed was me wasting her time while all I did was cry on the phone. She assured me that she wanted to be on the phone with me and that I wasn’t wasting her time. As I talked/sobbed, I felt somewhat calmer and a little bit better.
She continued to listen while I continued to cry. As the minutes wore on, I, then, began to feel stupid and even more embarrassed because I was telling myself that I could be doing my crying without being on the phone with her; that I most certainly could do that alone, that I didn’t need to bother her, too. She again assured me that I wasn’t wasting her time and that listening and being there for me was important, too.
After about 45 minutes of sobbing, I felt so much better and I wasn’t alone~my friend was still on the phone with me. We did eventually hang up and when we did, my heart felt lighter and I didn’t feel like the world was weighing on my shoulders.
What happened that day was as beautiful as it was profound and healing. Why? Because she knew that the only thing she could do for me was just be present and continue to hold space for me while I did what I needed to do. What is ‘holding space’? It is exactly what she did~she was present, she listened, she offered no advice, she placed no judgment. She allowed me to be with my emotions~whatever they were. She knew that she couldn’t fix anything for me and that I probably didn’t want her to fix anything for me or tell me what to do. She just listened with a kind ear and an open heart.
She gave me a beautiful gift (which she always does), which was her presence, her time, her love and her acceptance when I was unable to give it to myself. For that gift, I am so very grateful.
I offer that same gift to you~my presence, my time, my love and my acceptance. The question is: Are you willing and able to accept and receive that gift?
YOUR PARTNER IN AWARENESS AND HEALING,
Kathy