The “To Do” List
I sat down to breakfast one day last week and realized that I all of a sudden felt like I had failed to get anything accomplished in the past week. It took me a moment to realize why this feeling had come over me. Then I saw it–my to do list, sitting right there on the table, glaring at me with disappointment. A few things had been marked off as done, but for the most part, my to do list hadn’t even begun to be done! Thus, the disappointment and feeling as if I hadn’t done anything all week.
What had I done all week? I know I had been busy during the week, but my to do list stated otherwise.
As I sat contemplating what my week consisted of, I realized one important thing. What I realized is that those things that come naturally to me, things that feed my soul, that help me to feel good, never, ever get put down on my to do list, because I don’t need to remind myself to do them.
So the time I spent at a nursing home visiting an elderly friend wasn’t on the list. Nor was taking a friend out to dinner and a movie to celebrate her birthday. Time spent with family–nope, not on the list. Neither was the time that I spent meditating/self care. None of those things were on my to do list.
I was judging my accomplishments by this “to do list” because surely these things are important…that’s why they are on the list, right? True, they are important but I don’t necessarily enjoy doing them but they do need to be done. They are on the list to remind me that I do need to do them—at some point.
Cleaning the bathrooms–ugh, I hate this task, but it needs to be done and therefore, it is on the list. Ironing–yep, I’m a little old fashioned sometimes, but it needs to be done. You see, those things don’t feed my soul nor do they come naturally to me, sometimes I dread them but they do need to be done.
I took another look at my to do list and looked at the things that DID get crossed off. Vacuuming–yep, got it done, even did the stairs and upstairs. Dusting–which should I do first…vacuum or dust? Doesn’t matter, they both got done with some reluctance. Then, I balanced those chores that I don’t enjoy with more rewarding things–visiting the nursing home, self-care, etc.
After looking at my list that way, then the thoughts of failure and disappointment started to diminish. And wouldn’t you know, my body then started to relax and the stress and thoughts of not accomplishing anything all week disappeared.
I was placing extra stress on myself because according to my to do list I hadn’t done much. But the reality is–there are lots of things that don’t make it on my list that I do every single day. Those things that bring me joy and peace. Those things that don’t appear on my to do list, to me, are more important than those things that get put on the list. I just have to remember not to judge myself and my day on what I crossed off of my to do list.
MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: Take a few minutes now and think of the things that may be causing you stress. Do yourself a favor and pay attention to where you may be adding additional stress to your life. Are you making yourself more stressed out about something because of your own expectations, rules or to do list?
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Wishing you a beautiful day…I must go now as I’ve go to go clean my bathrooms…LOL!